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Arkwood bit on the bone. Ripped chicken. Animal. He is.

‘So sterile,’ said the disgusting Belgian.

He was still moaning about the utilitarian virtual room. True, it is rather plain.

‘Okay,’ I said, rolling up my sleeves and cracking open the Microsoft Visual Studio C++ application.

I loaded an image using OpenCV, using it to created an OpenGL texture:

glGenTextures(1, &Texture);
glBindTexture(GL_TEXTURE_2D, Texture);
glTexImage2D(GL_TEXTURE_2D, 0, GL_RGB, Wallpaper.cols, Wallpaper.rows, 0, GL_BGR, GL_UNSIGNED_BYTE, Wallpaper.ptr());
glBindTexture(GL_TEXTURE_2D, 0);

‘I’ve added some wallpaper to the virtual room,’ I told my chum. ‘Put on the Oculus Rift virtual reality headset and enjoy the warmth it brings!’

Unfortunately, I forgot that I was still using the Donald Trump image from a previous post.

‘Arggghh!’ Arkwood screamed, tossing the Rift headset onto the floor and fleeing behind the sofa. He was shaking. Tears streaming down his face.

It didn’t help that I had also mistakenly papered the floor and ceiling with the American leader.

I apologised, and swapped the presidential wallpaper for a nice Shimmer Metallic Grande Damask Wallpaper Rich Teal / Gold.

Here’s the wallpaper image I loaded using OpenCV.

I flipped the image 180 degrees in Gimp before loading it, to match the existing UV coordinates of the texture.

Gently I persuaded Arkwood to don again the headset. The Oculus Room Tiny – part of the Oculus SDK for Windows – had been transformed into elegance fit for a king.

Slowly a smile broke upon his face. He reached out with his Oculus Touch virtual hands to stroke the lush wallpaper.

Good. Now the room is getting cosy, how about a nice shag?

Or maybe I should swap out the cream carpet for a darker colour?

Arkwood said, ‘That’s all very splendid, but I have finished eating chicken. I’m ready to get my hands on a virtual romance.’

Oh dear. I sent him to the kitchen to wash his fingers.